This a blog about my life and all the things that happen in between plans; deep thoughts, silly stories, and everything else.







12.30.2010

Getting Deep About Being Zen

     As some of you may know, at about this time last year I made the resolution to become Zen. As of right now, it is the only New Year's resolution that I have ever come so far with (it was also the first New Year's resolution I actually resolved to do). I just want to tell you all that it has been the best decision I've ever made. *reader beware: this post has the potential to be a bit on the sappy side. I apologize in advance. (Also, to any of my friends from DU who may read this, my aim is not to offend, as we have clearly become friends for a good reason, but merely to share)

     Last December I had just finished my first quarter at DU. It sucked. I was having major culture shock from going from an incredibly diverse inner-city school (Go East!) to fancy-ville USA. I don't want to sound rude, racist, stereotypical or whatever else you want to call me when I say this but it's just a fact that the vast majority of the DU population is upper class to flat out wealthy white kids. And obviously that is not what I was used to, I'm still not really. I got the feeling (and still do) that between my four years at East and three at the renaissance festival I had already encountered and become friends with more kinds of people than lots of these kids even knew about. There was practically no diversity to speak of and the campus had an air of entitlement that cut right through and made you feel inferior. I have since found a lovely group of people who break this mold and I am sure that there are more out there but you gotta understand that I had never felt poor in my life until I the day I moved into my freshman dorm and heard the girls who would become my neighbors complaining that their maids would have been doing all of the moving had they been at home. And that feeling grew with every designer hand bag attached to the shoulder of the girl barging in front of you in the hallways and every popped collar of the guy letting the door smack you in the face after he's done walking through it.
     Then there were the classes, they were hard, not so hard that I couldn't still scrape up A's and B's but everything is harder when you're doing it alone. Nowadays I joke around about being anti-social and having no friends my first quarter but it was dead true. Part of that was because I was still in culture shock mode and felt like I had nothing in common with anyone. I'm gonna quote John Lennon here, not because I fancy myself to be some kind of suppressed genius, but because I can relate, "the second verse [of "Strawberry Fields Forever"] goes, 'No one I think is in my tree.' Well I was too shy and self-doubting. Nobody seems to be as hip as me is what I was saying. Therefore I must be crazy or a genius." Okay, so that's not exactly how I felt but there are similarities (amd now this post is related to music so HA!). I've always been shy, I doubted whether I fit in at all, whether I should be there. So maybe I overcompensated by convincing myself that I was the cool one in a sea of squares. I was clearly different so why not go one more step to say that I was the cool kind of different? I never thought I was a genius though ;)
          So yeah it basically sucked. I thought about transferring but that wouldn't be til the next year, either way I was stuck there for 2 more quarters (20 weeks). At the end of winter break I was absolutely dreading going back (much like I am right now but on a far more severe scale). With all my old high school friends still in school, I had been watching a lot of That 70's Show, I know it makes me a bigger looser that I want to admit but I felt like I had more in common with the TV gang than any of my schoolmates. In one episode Hyde teaches Jackie to be zen.

     Yep, that's my big secret, I learned zenness from TV. But I didn't rip it off completely, I made the concept my own (though in extreme examples I still resort to "Whatever" and "It's Cool"). I decided the only way to save my sanity, to save my happiness was to learn to deal with what was in front of me. So it started off as "whatever, it's cool" as an attempt to dismiss all of the crap I saw everyday. All the rudeness and self centered-ness, whatever. You think you're better than me rich kid, that's cool. One day in particular, I was failing at not hating my life so I took refuge in my records and somehow came out of it thinking, "Damn it I am the hip one around here. If you don't like it I don't care." Sure it was a bit of an angry period but it got me to stop moping around and actually talk to people. And, shock and awe, they weren't all awful! Lo and behold, right there in front of me the whole time, there had been a group of perfectly lovely people who I am now lucky enough to call my friends because they were kind enough (or stubborn enough) to wait for me to stop acting like a butthead and give me another shot at being normal. Then I went a step further not just not hating what I saw but learning to see things I liked. Oh I had something there!
     From there on in I was seeing the good in a lot of situations. It's my Zen and it has grown a lot from Hyde's advice to Jackie, now I do what I can to love my fellow man and the world we all live in together because hey, it's all we've got. It's a good life. I don't get too wound up about the little stuff anymore because I realize, hey, if no one is getting hurt or brought down in the grand scheme of things it's just not that big a deal. Move on. All of that from one little resolution. I decided to be happy person and that's what I did.
     This past year is what I shall now refer to as Stage One. Because this New Year brings a new resolution that's even better than the last my friends! Last year it was about me being happy, doing what I needed to to fix up my own life. This year I want to take the next step, a bigger step to be sure but I want to do it. I need to do it. This year is about spreading my Zen, spreading the love, spreading the joy. I firmly believe that what you put out there you get back. Call it the Golden Rule call it Karma. Whatever you call it that is what is at the core of this year's New Year's Resolution. I am resolving to put as much good and love into the world as I can because I truly believe that it will come back to me and I will be an even happier person for having done what I can for the people in my life. No I'm not going to be the next Gandhi, I'm not going to give away all my worldly possessions, I'm not going to fly to Africa and a build a village (no matter how much I want to I just don't have the money). It's got to start small and grow, that's why from New Year's Day on, whenever I see an opportunity to make someone's life a little easier I am going to do my best to take it.

     So here's to you my good friends, may the new year find you in peace and love. Cheers!  

12.20.2010

Committed

     The Finale is tonight (7:00-9:30 on NBC)! I've already voted and now the voting is closed but that is not going to stop me from writing about one last amazing group! So here we go...

     I give you Committed. I'm going to (try to) keep this post on the short side because I don't think there is anything I could say about these boys that won't smack you in face the second you hear them. However I will tell you that they came together in an Alabama church singing gospel and they have been pushing their own envelope on this show by consistently turning out some of the most inventive, expressive, and beautiful arrangements I've heard. I think that what really sets them apart (aside from their adorably sweet attitudes) is the richness of their harmonies and the raw talent throughout the group. Every single one of them is capable of singing lead because they were all blessed with gorgeous voices (voices "like butter" as Shawn Stockman of Boys II Men told them). Unlike some other groups who are obviously made up of divas trying to launch their solo careers *cough Backbeats cough*, these boys pass the glory around generously and when they're not singing the lead they take equal share in creating a strong, beautiful backdrop which enhances the lead even more. The degree of togetherness (for lack of a better word) both musically and emotionally is just astounding and it really shines through every one of their performances.

     On to the videos!

     I usually try to do these videos in the order they happened but if you only have the attention span to listen to one performance I want it to be this one, "Let's Stay Together" by the amazing Al Green.

     I'm sorry the quality of this video isn't top notch but I wanted to find one that included the judges comments. Ignore Nicole's crazy rambling about candy and listen to what Shawn Stockman and Ben Folds (a cappella and musicality experts respectively) have to say about this performance. I agree with them 100%. Other words that come to my mind after this performance are: seamless, smooth, sexy, expressive, honest, deep, etc. etc. Do you know how hard it is to swap the lead vocal line around like that? I remember many an arranging project in high school where two or more people really wanted to be the soloist and neither would step down. So they thought it would be a good idea to each sing a verse or two. Sure it sounds like a good solution but more often than not, when one person stopped singing the lead the other person would have to stop singing whatever back up part they were singing to step up leaving the previous soloist to pick up where they left off. This hardly ever worked because the person taking over the back up would wind up getting lost or coming in in the wrong place and dragging down the rest of the arrangement which would have been fine if one person or another had just learned the part and stuck with it for the whole piece. But the men of Committed make it look so easy! They switch off what, 10 times in the 2 minute song? And consider that since every one sang a lead that means they all had to not only know all of the lyrics but also at least two parts of the accompaniment, their own part and another part that they would have to fill wile its singer had the lead. Well done indeed!

     They broke onto the scene as top contenders on the first night of competition with Maroon 5's "This Love".

     Just watch the crowd's reaction at the end, I think that pretty much sums it up. I also loved seeing what Shawn Stockman thought of them ("musical orgasm" as one of the other judges put it). Obviously, being a part of the legendary Boys II Men makes him the authority on the a cappella portion of these performances and it is clear that Committed locked it in in his eyes. They were the last group to sing on the premier night and he told them that he had been waiting all night for a group to bring what they brought and I have to agree. I can't think of anything to add other than what Shawn already said but I would like to point out the delicious way that they picked one little moment in the piece and built up a luscious, flawless block chord harmony that just makes you say, "oh yes". 

     This is their "guilty pleasure" song (aka super cheesy but oh so catchy) "I Want It That Way" by the Backstreet Boys.

     In the little intro piece they use to fill up their two hour slot they talked about how strange they felt to be self-proclaimed "church boys" trying to be sexy. They showed a few of them singing a line or two while showing off their best sexy moves before cracking up with the rest of the group. Adorable. I hope they know that when they get back to church after all of this there are going to be a lot more girls in the congregation than they remember. This clip also includes the judges comments and I think they pretty much sum it all up. All I have to say about this performance is mad props for giving us all the cheesy goodness of the Backstreet Boys and throwing in a bonus of actual musicianship. Wow. Also, the boy band inspired dance moves were a nice touch too.

     Basically, I love their sound and they all seem like such sweet guys I just want to be their friend! They are the whole package and if they win you can be sure I will be buying that album.

    I want to wish good luck to all of these groups at tonight's Finale. They all deserve so much to win (except the fakey fakerson Backbeats who are less of a group and more 15 soloists who will eventually snap and kill each other in a fit of vanity if they have to work as a group for the many months it takes to create an album) and I truly hope that whoever doesn't win will have gained the attention they need to further their music careers from this show because I would love nothing more than to buy their albums. Did you hear that record companies of the world? There are people who will pay money to buy music by Street Corner Symphony, Committed, and Jerry Lawson and the Talk of the Town!

     In conclusion, thank you to all of the competing groups and NBC for the fun of The Sing Off.

12.19.2010

Street Corner Symphony

*Note: Apparently the voting ended this morning at 9, which means I have failed in influencing your vote. But that's okay because I don't want to wield that kind of power anyway. Don't worry, I will finish what I started and show you the other groups I like so you know what to watch for on Monday's 2 and a half hour Finale*

     Day 2, group 2. It is my pleasure to introduce you to Street Corner Symphony. They're a laid back group made up of 2 sets of brothers and some friends thrown in for good measure. They all seem like real, nice guys from Tennessee who enjoy singing and "unpracticing" where, according to them, they not only don't practice but they drink beer while they're not practicing. They've got a great down-to-Earth vibe that just makes you relax and enjoy their work. I really love that there is such an honest connection throughout the group. Every time they perform their passion for making music and their friendship shows through and adds another level to the experience. Plus, their lead singer has been dabbling around in the music business for a while not trying to get something going but so far has just been tossed aside by the record company that singed him. His lead vocals are so touching and heartfelt, he just puts it all out there for us. I think he has more than enough talent to do some big things if he could get under the right management but as we all know, the music industry is like 15% talent, 5% looks (which I wouldn't say he's lacking ;) ), and 80% luck. Hopefully the tight accompaniment and new takes on fun songs that his groupmates are providing will be just extra push he needs to get the attention they all deserve.

Let's take a listen...


     Here's their take on Train's "Hey Soul Sister"

     What I love about this performance is that it still sounds like the song we all sing along to in the car because they were able to identify and build off of the best parts of the existing song and then expand and put their own sound on the other parts. The group who won last year's Sing Off (Nota, check 'em out) were also experts at this, infusing all kinds of genres with their Puerto Rican flavor.
  
     And here is "Creep" by Radiohead

     It's not my favorite song to begin with but I had to put it in here (even over their fantastic Beatles medley, shocking I know) because I was blown away by the emotion and expression that carried the performance from beginning to end. Obviously we see it in the lead vocals, a raw display of talent that goes straight past competition or even performance to the realm of story telling and soul bearing. That is not something you are going to hear from 95% of today's pop artists and certainly not from 99.99% (I don't know why I'm so into percentages tonight) of the a cappella groups covering their songs. And it's not just the lead, the rest of the group is so rock solid and in tune with each other that they succeed in adding a whole other level to the experience. Mad props on this performance.

     Lastly, I give you, my jam, "Down on the Corner" by Creedence Clearwater Revival

     The judges picked this song for them and I don't know how they felt about it but I certainly thought it captured what they are all about. And then they turned around and captured what the song itself was all about, from their subtle but fitting choreography to their down South attitude to the fun way they mixed it up and infused their own personality into it. It was just fun to watch. And may I just point out that there are 6 people there. They are recreating, and even expanding, the sound of a full band who spent who know how much time in a studio putting everything together (though this is CCR so maybe not that much time) with 6 voices. That is no easy feat and they make it look like it is.

     I just can't say enough about these guys and their relaxed, down home style. There is so much talent there and practically no ego. Every time they perform they are locked into making great music and having fun doing it. When you watch you aren't hung up on what they're wearing, how they're dancing, or any kind of under lying tension between them that is showing through, you are able to just relax and truly enjoy the spectacular performance they are putting out for you. Rock on guys!

12.18.2010

Jerry Lawson and the Talk of the Town

   The first group I thought I would share with you is called Jerry Lawson and the Talk of the Town (mind you there is no order of preference here). I think the first thing everyone notices is that they're all older guys and we think, "Aww, look at the cute old guys in their cute matching suits." but then we here them sing and we (or at least I) are left speechless. I like to think that they are what would happen if the Pips went solo. Through out the competition they have shown an amazing talent for taking all kinds of songs and (from The Stones hits to American folk music) and breathing a new, soulful, R&B, Motown life into them.

          This first video is their performance of "Easy" by Lionel Richie.

     This is their kind of music to be sure. Their lead singer has been around the block a few times putting out quite a few albums with Motown groups that has long since disbanded. He teared me up on the last episode with his comment on how much this second chance in the music business would mean to him (yeah I tear up easily). Jerry has such a classic and soulful R&B voice and the rest of the guys blend and back him up so nicely. It's just fun to listen too, tell me you didn't smile.


     This next clip is their touching rendition of "House of the Rising Sun"

     I almost wish this video included the judges comments so you could see just how blown away they, the professional musicians, were. One comment was that this is the way The Animals wanted it to sound. I was just floored by how much meaning and life they were able to bring to the story and the message of the song through their arrangement. You could just hear the melancholy in the lead and the harmonies groaned and sighed in such honesty that it was truly soul stirring. I don't know about you but I practically felt like I was wandering aimlessly in a New Orleans slum carrying some kind of heart wrenching burden. That is what good music does to you.
    
     This last piece is just because I thought it was really fun (and I love The Stones)

     How did make this whiny (but catchy) Jagger tune so damn soulful? The challenge of that particular episode was to perform a big rock hit and put their own spin on it and I don't think they could have done it any better.

     In summary, Jerry Lawson and the Talk of the Town are
  • adorable
  • incredibly talented
  • soulful (I know I've said that a million times but I think it is the best word to describe their style)
  • honest
  • looking for a second chance
     They all seem to be such kind, down to Earth people and the beautiful music they make together just makes me want to hug them. Which is why you should vote for Jerry Lawson and the Talk of the Town.

   Come back tomorrow so I can show you another wonderful group!

Accappella or is it a capella, acapela... acappella?

   Aside from being really hard to spell, a cappella (that is the official spelling, I checked) is an amazing genre of music in which no instruments are used. It's all vocal. So that means when you're singing N*Sync in the shower you are singing a cappella... fancy huh? But hold on to your loofa (I did not check for the official spelling of that) because the genre goes so far beyond bad shower singing! There exist groups of people who are experts in this fine art. Such people create entire songs, both original pieces and covers of any song imaginable, in which the lyrics, guitar, bass, harmonies, percussion and any other sound you've ever heard in a song are all created using only their voices. Like anything else, there are a lot of good groups, a lot more really mediocre groups and a just a few truly amazing groups. I for one, would like to say thank you to the a cappella nerd over at NBC who has so kindly given us The Sing Off so we may marvel at groups from all of these categories (however we will only be discussing those in the amazing category). What's that? You haven't seen it? Well never fear, hulu has all the episodes and clips you need to get caught up.

*This is the part where you go watch a couple of videos if you have no idea what I'm talking about*

     Fun right? I bet a lot of you know that in high school I sang in a similar group (shout out to the 08-09 Angelaires!) We were 11-16 people throughout the year due to some freak vocal upsets and while we did a fair number of pop tunes we were mostly accapella jazz based. And to put it simply we just freaking rocked. The group has won top honors at jazz festivals all over the state (and occasionally elsewhere) for the past... I don't even know... a lot of years. And to be perfectly honest that was the most in touch and connected I have ever been able to feel with both the music I was singing and the people I was singing it with. Singing that particular music with that particular group really opened me up as a musician and a performer (Thanks Mr. Taylor). It is just a shame that we had such a short time together.

     In case you haven't caught on, I really miss that group. I miss the people, the music, the atmosphere, and just being a part of such a high caliber group. That is why I love The Sing Off. It allows me to relive my glory days vicariously through other accappella groups (do I sound like an old dude in a beat up la-z-boy reminiscing about some war or another? Oh well. Listen up Sonny!) Monday is the Finale where America gets to vote for the winners and I know that this blog has a lot of influence *Puffs out chest, puts hands on hips, and looks dramatically into the distance* so I thought I would do what I can to help you decide who to vote for.

   There are four groups who are still in the running to win the grand prize (which is some amount of money and a nice little recording contract). It all comes down to:
  • Committed *swoon*
  • Jerry Lawson and the Talk of the Town *awww*
  • Street Corner Symphony *Rock on*
  • The Backbeats *Booo!*

    I gotta say, I am so glad I'm not in charge of picking the winner here. The three groups that I like (I'm sure you've guessed who those are) I really like. I think every one of them is completely deserving of the prize and a further career in music. And honestly, even the group that I don't like is quite good and I'm sure that they would record a perfectly decent album if they won but they are just missing what I consider a really big element of a rock solid group (which I will discuss later) . For me there is a 3 in 4 chance that I will be really happy for the winning group but at the same time will feel really badly for the other 2. I would love to see them all gain the interest of recording companies through their stint on this show so that whether they win or lose they can still go on in music.

     In the interest of not writing a 14 page post that no one has the attention span for (like this one) I'm going to show you each of my favorite groups over the next 3 days (the last will be on Monday before the big Finale) in the hopes of sharing this awesome music with you... and maybe swaying you to vote with me in the process ;)

   Come back tomorrow!

12.12.2010

Everyone's favorite lefty

     Why yes, yes it is another Beatles post! Kinda. 

     As all of you good Paul/Beatles/SNL fans know the good Sir was last night's Saturday Night Live musical guest! *pause for applause to subside* And I'm okay with telling you that he is the first musician I've actually heard of all season... or at least since Tom Petty and Pearl Jam but I think they were last season. Actually, I should rephrase that, I have heard of some of the other artists (I don't live under a rock [it's actually a dorm-cave, but it has wifi]) I just can't say I have heard any of their music. If you think that makes me some kind of music snob I'm hurt, but you are entitled to your musical opinions.

     Still, I know that, deep down, you know I listen to really froody music. (On a completely unrelated note, I would really like froody to catch on on this planet)

     Anyhoo, I just wanted to share this with you because hulu apparently can only deal with two music numbers per SNL episode (even though music legends get to play as many as they want, four in Paul's case). Also, I'm willing to bet that it won't be long before the network discovers their clip on YouTube (where it will make them no money) and steal it away once again. Luckily for me they can't steal it from my cable box. *insert evil laugh (preferably Zamir's if you've been lucky enough to hear it)*



   To put this in context it is 30 years and 3 days since John Lennon was killed in New York. Paul, being the sensitive and loving guy that he is, recognizes this and pays homage with one of John's most memorable Beatles tunes (the middle section of which was actually written/performed by Paul) which flowed seamlessly into The Plastic Ono Band's Give Peace a Chance. I thought that the performance was just about as eloquent a music can get. With the words and the tune and the message all speaking together so poignantly.

    Yeah, I teared up when Paul asked for people all over the world to sing together. I so deeply hope they did. But judging by the sound of the audience (whom you can't even hear on any other night due to the shows sound system) I think it was pretty probable that there was national even world wide singing going on.

     Then there's this little golden nugget. Shortly after I realized that becoming Mrs. McCartney (or Lennon or Harrison or Starkey) wasn't going to work out I decided that Mrs. Seth Meyers would be a very good plan B. So this was just... just... ah... swoon!



    I can't quite hear if he says it's the best or worst thing he's ever worked on but the dead pan sarcasm (and the fact that he's Paul) make it a small morsel of comedy genius,

   *Christmas Bonus, I'm going to let you in on how creepy I really am: as I write this I keep fantasizing that one day Paul himself will stumble upon this humble post. At which time my Beatles sense will tingle and I will slip into some sort of joyous coma. Do you think rock stars google themselves?*

12.11.2010

What am I doing here?

     Yep, just in case you haven't caught on, I have no idea what I'm doing with a blog. I'm not a huge blog reader to begin with so I don't know if I'm on the right track here or not. But I'm on break and there is no way I am doing anything that could potentially be classified as research so I'm just going to keep making stuff up as I go along if that's okay with you. What's that? You think this stuff is witty and enlightening? Even though I put little to no planning into it whatsoever? Well, I'd hate to disappoint you my loyal readers! On to the making stuff up!

     Of the very few blogs I ever think to check there are a few things I've noticed about blogs in general. For one thing, it seems that most of the better ones have a theme of some kind. Case in point Cakewrecks and My Mom the Style Icon. Those are really clever pieces of work and their fun subject matter has clearly gotten them a lot of attention. It's not that I'm looking for national fame by any means (too much pressure there) but it would be nice if I could reasonably believe that someone other than my parents reads this thing. The problem with themes is that I highly doubt I have that kind of focus, when I feel like writing something I just kid of go for it. Plus, I can't think of anything specifically new and hip to focus on that I actually know anything about. I mean I could write a blog about wayfarer glasses and handlebar moustaches and stick it on a mustard yellow background with some angsty black and white sketch work, birds maybe. I can't think of anything more hip. But I don't know anything about glasses or moustaches so I think I'd run out of post ideas pretty quick. You see the problem? The only other blogs I read are those that are just really hilarious i.e. hyperbole and a half (the post about moving with dogs had me laughing hysterically all alone in my dorm room... or was that finals stress?) Either way this writer is a genius in a subtle kind of way. I would like to think that I'm funny but every time I ask my mom she just says, "Yeah, sure you're funny" with enough sarcasm to give pause to a certain French mime. So I don't really know if I'm funny or not. In any case, I am certainly not funny enough to make people want to read about my daily life. Also, I'm not that good of an artiste.

     So in an effort to narrow down the subject matter of this here bloggy blog I present you with guidelines. Guidelines which you can expect me to follow about as closely as one follows a firebreather in a parade, closely enough to see what's going on but far enough away to keep your options open for escape. (Strangely, when you've walked behind a firebreather in as many parades as I have you eventually stop planning escapes and instead focus on witty comments for those watching.)

Official Blog Guidelines
  1. Generally topics will have to do with music – as you have astutely noticed from the name of the blog, I am a music major. As such, it is music that I draw most of my inspiration from. So it makes sense that a good portion of this blog will be music related. I guess we can call music the theme. I guarantee that not every post will revolve solely around music, though I hope it will act as the glue that holds this thing together. I mean as together as it's likely to get. 
  2. No Angst – I am very anti-teen angst. It’s exhausting and invariably leads to depression for the reader and writer alike. It’s played out at any rate. No, I’m not technically a teen any more but I have noticed that the stench of teen angst permeates far further than the blogs of teenagers. Again, I make no promises, occasional whining may occur.
  3. Yes Zen-ness – Although I love sarcasm and stinging wit more than most people I am generally a very nice, happy person. Ever since last year’s New Year’s resolution to be a happier person I have been on a quest to find my Zen. It’s the best decision I’ve ever made. It’s not so much the Indian tabla music, incense, and meditation kind of Zen that I’m going far (although I have been known to meditate to Ravi Shankaar music when I’m really stressed out). To me it’s more about being able to be happy with whatever your situation is, not dwelling on the negatives, being thankful for what you have, and just appreciating this world and this life. On my best days I remember all of this and live by my self set standards but, like everyone else, I have my off days. I’m just trying to live this life loving my fellow man and the world we live in.
  4. As Much Humor as Possible – I think laughing is the greatest thing ever. I love laughing and I love making other people laugh. People have told me I’m funny and though I may just brush the comment off (likely with another attempt at being funny) I truly appreciate every time someone laughs with me and at me. I’ve even been known to act ridiculous in public because I think it’s great when I can get a stranger to chuckle. I hope that humor gets translated here and it’s not just an outpouring of bad puns but if someone reads this and laughs I’m gonna keep doing it. Sorry.
     Huh, those turned out a lot weirder than I thought they would. To summarize, with this blog I will do my best to not be just another whining college kid. Instead, I will share with you all that inspires me, music and otherwise! Each post is just as much about the person reading it as it is about me writing it and I hope that we can both leave here having shared a laugh and feeling